The Power of Fear

As I neared the end of my twenties I began having very disturbing dreams and nightmares from which I would wake breathless and bewildered, and seemingly normal situations which for others might produce maybe a little anxiety would leave me wracked with crippling and debilitating panic. For instance when I was twenty-seven I was invited to a vacation on Fire Island which is a summer getaway for New Yorkers and had such a panic attack beforehand I had to cancel my flight and my trip. Not knowing how to handle any of this I turned to increased drinking, which is saying something since I already drank heavily, and trying to get medicated with prescriptions and seek professional therapy. One therapist I went to taught me breathing exercises which helped a great deal to take the edge off some of my worst panic attacks, but generally nothing else helped and I would simply plunge deeper into alcoholism and behavioral adaptations to limit my exposure to those things which caused me fear. It would not be until the age of thirty-four when my life completely fell apart that I would finally discover why this was happening to me and what to do about it.

Fear is such a powerful motivator for humans because it is the ultimate survival tool. Pump an animal full of terrifying hormones when we encounter a potentially mortal danger and we instinctually flee from that danger thus increasing our chances of survival. Once as a child I was walking home from school and entered the alleyway behind our house and encountered a skunk which popped its head out from under a woodshed no less than a foot or two from me. Although skunks are cute it was both startling and a threat of getting sprayed which sent my mind automatically into instinctual survival mode and I don’t think I have ever run as fast in my entire life. Another time when visiting our grandparents my toddler cousin walked onto a diving board of a swimming pool and jumped in, and my aunt instantly and reflexively dove in after him with all her clothes to save him.

Since fear can help preserve us many people might be surprised to learn that on average two or three people fall off the edge of the Grand Canyon every year, because some people do not sufficiently fear heights to keep them away from the edge of a literal cliff. Some people like rock climbers or base jumpers actively seek those thrills precisely because of the fear and adrenaline which results from facing death.

But the fear of mortality is nothing for humans compared to the fear of other humans. As a social animal we are wired by our biology to feel safe in groups and terrified of conflict because in terms of human evolutionary development other humans are usually the primary threat to our wellbeing, which is not even limited to those in other groups but those within our own communities or families. The human mind responds to fear either by running from or trying to control that which we are afraid, and because we often can’t run from threats to our wellbeing within our own families and communities our only choice seems then to try to control that fear, so we employ tools learned in youth to control those sources of fear, which includes avoidance, manipulation, aggression, reprisal, etc.

Americans are especially fearful people, like many targets of political scheming throughout history, have been subjected to ceaseless fearmongering, war, and warmongering ever since the second World War by power hungry politicians whipping up votes and political support by exploiting and enflaming the fears of their potential constituents. If you think I’m criticizing only people on the right like Ronald Reagan, George Bush, or Trump you would be entirely incorrect because politicians like Hilary Clinton and Joe Biden are more than happy to enflame or exploit political conflict to get elected to office, and Hilary Clinton was actually one of Trump’s earliest supporters and funders because she rightfully thought he would destabilize the Republican party, at the expense of everyone affected by Trump or Clinton.

People who are afraid take action to protect themselves from the things they fear, and because of fear there are more guns in America than there are people, with about 12 firearms for every 10 American citizens. Part of the problem with fear is that usually the things we are afraid of do actually happen, so every time there is a mass shooting or other traumatizing event Americans just go out and buy more guns, so there are more gun deaths and shootings and the cycle sustains itself. Specifically, it sustains the gun industry which rakes in huge profits from this cycle of consumer fear and is entirely happy to let it continue.

For our own personal experience fear can sometimes be useful such as keeping us from falling off a cliff or emotionally hurting those we love, for instance being kind to our spouse and children because we fear losing them. But very often the things we fear are not actually things we can really control, such as dying. Every person that lives and has ever lived dies, it’s a natural part of living and for some reason most humans have never been able to come to terms with this reality no matter how many deaths prove it is something we cannot control. Indeed even reading about this might have caused you some anxiety about death. Fearing death is also a fear of the unknown, we don’t really know what happens after we die, and fear of the unknown is perhaps the greatest fear possessed by every human because the unknown might contain something bad. It also might contain something good, but good things do not threaten our wellbeing, so when we are fearful and traumatized we tend to fixate on potential harm since fear is nothing more than a survival tool.

When we have extensive experiences of trauma from our childhood such as I did fear is the dominant and driving factor in adulthood and when we act on fear we are usually ineffective and act against our own best interests. For instance I cancelled my summer trip to Fire Island because I was so afraid of being around people I didn’t really know and so I lost out on what might have been a really wonderful experience. Fear of being poor, fear of losing your job, fear of not being loved, fear of violence, fear of government, fear of authority figures, fear of disease, fear of losing control, fear of conflict, fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of people who are different than us, fear of aging, fear of death, and fear of the unknown cause us to structure our life and behavior around managing those fears so we then instead miss out on living in the present and often act opposite to what would actually be good for us or even outright cause ourselves harm.

Making matters more complicated, the sensation of fear is driven by endocrine hormones and neurotransmitters and in those of us with metabolic stress (health stress) those hormones and transmitters are often overactive because health stress makes our body both less resistant to the effects of those factors and increases those factors. The reason I avoided my trip was not because I was especially fearful of being rejected or judged by people I didn’t know but because my long history of health problems and dieting behavior and excessive exercise conditioned my body to express MORE stress hormones during stressful stimuli, and this stress also made my internal organs (like the brain) also MORE sensitive to the effects of those stress hormones. The purpose of our primary stress hormone adrenaline is to mobilize glucose from storage in glycogen, which is the human equivalent of starch in plants, in order to provide fuel for cells to match the energetic demands of stress and physical exertion, and engaging in behaviors like dieting and excessive exercise which constantly deplete carbohydrate, especially when we are also metabolically ill, causes higher and higher and higher expression of adrenaline required to mobilize less and less glycogen to achieve the increase in metabolic rate required by stressful experiences. Worse, when glycogen stores are depleted and blood sugar is insufficient to that which is required the body then releases cortisol to catabolize (destroy) lean muscles, skin, and other organs into useable sugars and amino acids to make up for the energy deficit, and over time this excess of cortisol destroys organs and tissues and can even make us literally psychologically insane as organs like the brain begin to dysfunction due to such unrelenting stress. A little adrenaline can make us feel excitement but adrenaline is also the primary hormone of the fight or flight response that mobilizes resources during experiences of fear, conflict, and physical exertion and it was an enormous surge of adrenaline that caused me to flee the alley skunk and drove my heart rate so high I could feel it pounding in my head. But because cortisol is catabolic it causes significant discomfort, both physically and mentally, and the combination of both high adrenaline and high cortisol was the reason for my panic attack that prevented me from going on my vacation, and likewise this same combination of stress hormones is at the root of all significant fears such that occur during anxiety, panic, phobias, PTSD, paranoia, restlessness, and even insomnia.

Because fear is mediated by the endocrine system it also greatly affects our physical health, and you will notice a trend in people who are driven by fear that they age poorly and often present with hair loss, weight gain, and physical deterioration more markedly than those who are not fearful because adrenaline also redirects blood flow to the core of the body to keep the internal organs warm and flush with blood, and this reduces blood flow to the skin, hair, and other peripheral tissue. Fear also prevents us from achieving things in life we desire like making friends, finding romantic partners, enjoying our relationship, being present as a parent, enjoying our children, feeling relaxed at work, from saving money and being fiscally responsible, solving problems, understanding others, voting in our best interests (or even voting at all), being effective in conflict, treating ourselves with compassion, learning new skills that could benefit us, getting out of harmful or toxic relationships or employment, dealing with tragedy or unexpected events, or even sleeping. Fear causes us to shirk responsibility, to promote conflict, to cause harm, to enable authoritarianism and institutional control, to imprison ourselves and our loved ones in systems of conformity and recrimination. Fear even causes many people to commit acts of cruelty, of violence, of manipulation, and foments hatred and conflict to in fact cause the very things we fear like death, loss, and losing control.

Because fear is actualized by the physical body it must first be addressed by treating the body with care, compassion, and kindness, especially by feeding ourselves in order to sustain glycogen storage and suppress high adrenaline and prevent low blood sugar that triggers the release of adrenaline and cortisol. This is also not something that can occur quickly but requires consistent, daily effort in order to allow tissues time to heal and regenerate from the destructive effects of long term stresses dietary, metabolic, and emotional. Physical exertion can be extremely harmful for the body if the body is not able to match those demands, and a good rule to use when engaging in exercise or sport is that it should always be fun. If it’s not fun it is a sign your body cannot meet the demands of that exercise and is releasing too much adrenaline and cortisol which is making you feel awful because it’s literally destroying your body. If you are having fun it means your body has the resources to support that physical stress.

It doesn’t help that there are also microbes which produce toxic biogenic amines like histamine, tyramine, and phenylethylamine that act as adrenaline agonists and cause the same kinds of stress as starvation, even from eating normal food but which are promoted by unhealthy diets and dieting behaviors. This is far to complex to cover in a short article like this and is instead discussed at length in my book, Fuck Portion Control. These microbes underlie extreme mental health fear disorders like schizophrenia and require addressing those pathogens by eating a healthy, consistent diet to suppress pathogens and keep blood sugar elevated at all times.

Most of all our perception of reality is the ultimate mediator of fear. For instance I don’t even consider death to be a problem, but many people do everything they can do avoid death, aging, and illness because our acceptance into traumatized groups of people is often dependent on our physical appearance and other resources, so we organize our lives, behaviors, and precious energy to satisfy and control those fears where instead my days are spent caring for my wellbeing and enjoying my life regardless of what I may or may not have. I only arrived at this place in my life because I was lucky to finally discover those tools which could resolve my experiences of trauma and fear, which in addition to taking care of the physical body also requires practice of trauma resolution as is laid out in both of my books and free in this video on YouTube linked below on my YouTube channel. The truth about fear is that most of the things we fear are actually things that do occur or do happen, so they are not irrational, but fear is usually not productive and instead tends to make us ineffective and act in opposition to our wellbeing rather than benefit from it. Unfortunately it is impossible to resolve fears with simple changes in attitudes or resolve, as fear is a function of the unconscious mind, so the only way to overcome fear and find peace is through action such as this therapy facilitates. It also works as rapidly as you put in effort, so the only thing standing between you and resolution of fear is how much time you are willing to put toward recovery. It’s actually really easy to do and with a short amount of practice you will quickly become proficient in teaching yourself new life skills to handle fear, uncertainty, and find peace, contentment, and confidence, which is especially effective on a full stomach. www.youtube.com/natehatch